ConfessionalOctober 23, 2006 MondayDisorder. Confusion. Disaster. I think I've finally hit rock bottom. This is the thought that I have sitting here in this godforsaken building. I feel like I'm losing control and I don't even know why. I feel like I'm losing him and I don't even know how. I want to scream, I want to run, I want to die. I just want to forget, I don't want to feel. I want to erase these tainted memories that lead me on. The innocence of my youth that I once took for granted. I want it back.I can't do anything, I can't concentrate with my thoughts racing like this. The garrulous voices in the room rise and fall, overlapping in my
TrueOnce, not so long ago,My heart belonged to you.I would have done anything,Just to be with you.But now those days are gone,And I'm lost in this simple song.Swallowed up in the words.So wrong.So right.I close my eyes.I will not cry.Now I'm calmed by the words I see,The words I hear from him,And not you. My own laughter has cured my pain,My simplistic reality,Has changed.So I smile,Because I finally can.Our day is over,I have no regrets,And from time to time I miss you too.Yes, it's true.But I don't want you anymore.It feels good to say that,I feel myself lift as my heart flutters.I can relax n
Another MemoryWatching down the street,Watching for the black car.Dark curls brushed her shoulders,As she shielded her green eyes from the sun.She was only three,And she was waiting on the stairs,For a man to pick her up.A small suitcase sat next to her,Filled with dollies and other broken toys,Ghost toys, memories.As the day strung on and the shadows grew long,Her mother tried to get her to come in."Honey, he called, and he's sorry, but he can't make it.Now come in and have dinner."But the little girl only stared at her,Hearing the illusion of a ghostly call,Echo in her mind, in her heart.In her memory.She glanced away,
ControlControl.What a funny, make believe word.Do we really expect to have it?Conrol is beyond reason,Beyond hope.There is no such thing as control.As I sit here and ponder this,I watch the people around me,In the drafty echoing auditorium.I sigh and everyone can hear it.My pen scratches the paper so loudlyI might as well be screaming.Is that guy over there glaring at me?Is that a sneer on that girl's face?I shake my head and look down again,And cringe.My pen can't stop making noise.Oh, what the hell stop making the noise!It's so loud now I'm covering my ears,I'm crying.Oh God please make it stop I can't contr
Sta.sh
