TrueOnce, not so long ago,My heart belonged to you.I would have done anything,Just to be with you.But now those days are gone,And I'm lost in this simple song.Swallowed up in the words.So wrong.So right.I close my eyes.I will not cry.Now I'm calmed by the words I see,The words I hear from him,And not you.My own laughter has cured my pain,My simplistic reality,Has changed.So I smile,Because I finally can.Our day is over,I have no regrets,And from time to time I miss you too.Yes, it's true.But I don't want you anymore.It feels good to say that,I feel myself lift as my heart flutters.I can relax now and smile.No more sadness,No more fears.It's true that I'm alone in this world,But I guess I always was.Everything I thought I had was anIllusion.And now I know what's real.What I feel is real.What I know is real.But everything else was fake,Dream,Fantasy,Make believe.I'm glad that I can admit that,I'm glad that I know who I am,What you are,Who we used to
ConfessionalOctober 23, 2006 MondayDisorder. Confusion. Disaster.I think I've finally hit rock bottom.This is the thought that I have sitting here in this godforsaken building. I feel like I'm losing control and I don't even know why. I feel like I'm losing him and I don't even know how. I want to scream, I want to run, I want to die. I just want to forget, I don't want to feel. I want to erase these tainted memories that lead me on. The innocence of my youth that I once took for granted. I want it back.I can't do anything, I can't concentrate with my thoughts racing like this. The garrulous voices in the room rise and fall, overlapping in my head over and over until I want kill them, make it stop. I think I'm losing my mind.Every thought that I have about itů. Every time I let my thoughts wander in that directionů I don't even know. Could it be true? Or am I just delusional? Is it fake, is it true? Is it my intuition trying to save myself again, or am I just paranoid?Paranoid. I'